I was in a car accident a couple months ago that taught me some deep lessons in taking 100% accountability. This was especially difficult because I was convinced for a very long time that I was not at fault. However, accidents are big wakeup calls…
I am sharing this story because it directly relates to being fully empowered and directly relates to our ability to manifest in our life. Before I share how, let me explain what happened.
I was traveling east bound in the fast lane across the Richmond/San Rafael Bridge in my XK8 Jaguar convertible. During the length of the drive across the bridge, one by one the cars in the fast lane were passing cars in the slow lane and moving over in front of the slower cars. When it came my turn for the car in front of me to move into the slow lane, she did not. There was about a quarter of a mile of open space in front of her. I noticed she was watching me in her rear-view mirror. By now we were near the end of the bridge.
When there was enough room for me to pass her by moving into the slow lane, I checked my side mirror to make sure there was enough room. When I looked straight, I was coming up fast on brake lights. She had purposely, with no good cause, slammed on her brakes to prevent me from passing her. I was forced to aggressively avoid colliding into the back of her car by swerving into the clear lane next to me. I counter-maneuved by turning in the other direction knowing this could prevent spinning out of control. With the wheels spinning at 60 mph, I was now heading straight towards her side and T-boned her. I continued to spin around and finally stopped facing oncoming traffic.
Luckily this happened just after exiting the bridge where there is a huge space on both sides before the freeway narrowed down to two lanes bordered by concrete barriers for a construction zone. It couldn’t have happened in a more perfect space.
Once I pulled safely to the side, I got out to make sure she was ok which she said she was. She even got out to take pictures. Later, however, she claimed injuries. I could not prove my suspicions that this was insurance fraud.
My biggest bone of contention was that there was not an accident until she slammed on her brakes without cause or justification. She did not spill coffee on her lap, a dog did not run in front of her, there was no place for her to turn, such as another street or driveway, and there were no cars immediately in front of her. The only reason she gave in the accident report for slowing down was because she thought I was too close. That should be the LAST reason anyone would want to slow down. I contended that if she had not slammed on her brakes, I would have changed lanes as I had done for the previous 45 years without any harm or danger to anyone and there would have been NO accident.
I argued that she had a choice. Unlike me, she was not forced by any outside influence that caused her to slam her brakes on. She chose to do so because she thought I was too close and THIS caused the accident. I felt relief knowing she didn’t completely get away with this and got hers when the Universe sucker-punched her in the side. I hung on tightly to these beliefs for weeks.
Knowing that we attract into our life opportunities to learn, I was challenged to find the learning. I could only think of how….”if she had not slammed on her brakes, this never would have happened!” She had a choice and that choice caused the accident.
While all of that may have been true, I finally, little by little could see that if I had not made her feel pushed, getting a little too close as I was about to pass her, she never would have tried to teach me a lesson and slammed on her brakes.
This was so painful to admit! It was agonizing to admit I was wrong. My Libran nature just wanted what was fair and this felt blatantly unjust. I could feel how much I was negatively judging myself. It felt horrible. No wonder I was avoiding this by blaming her.
However, what I noticed started to happen was the more I embraced that I had made a mistake, the more I could release the judgements. The more judgements I released, the more I could feel that I was not the mistake.
The more I acknowledge that I created this by the choices I made, the more empowered I felt because I knew I could make different choices in the future. I don’t believe this accident just happened to me. I believe I attracted it for this important lesson. When we believe we are victims of circumstance, we have just given our power away.
Part of this healing happened as a result of participating in a San Pedro plant medicine ceremony. This is a powerful yet gentle way of accessing what was deep in my heart and allowed me to release my self judgements. There was a jaguar skull on the alter which I had a particular draw to. At one point I crouched down and got face to face with this skull. I heard the words…”Be 100% accountable for everything you create.” I burst into tears. It was painfully crystal clear.
When we are 100% accountable for our part of what we create…and we create everything, then we can be fully in our power to create as we wish. We can change things next time if we don’t like the outcome. This happens irregardless of whether or not the other person can accept their part of accountability. You owning your part has nothing to do with the other person.
This can be super challenging when we carry lots of self judgements in our hearts. Of the two places where most people hold sabotaging energies, the heart is the biggest. However, the more you can know you are the creator of your life, the more you can create the life you truly desire.
As I moved farther away from blame and judgements, I moved into a space of gratitude and compassion.
I was grateful I was not injured. I forgave myself for causing any injuries to her and even gave her some remote healing. While my beloved Jaguar convertible was totaled since it cost more to fix than it was worth, this allowed me to uplevel to a much more comfortable, reliable, and luxurious new Lexus. This did not happen until I first learned these lessons which I am most grateful for. #silverlining
If you ever find yourself blaming someone else for anything, step back, forgive yourself for any mistake you may have made, own your part…be accountable, and begin to take back your power to create the life you choose on purpose.