Success is defined in many different ways. The way I define my success is by how far I’ve come on my personal journey of healing my past.
I believe just about anything can be healed. I speak from personal experience having gone from near suicide to now living a life of joyful ease, peaceful empowerment, grounded clarity, radiant health, a thriving business, lots of adventure, and an abundance of love.
You’d never know it by looking at me or even knowing me, but I’ve had an intense life. I was given plenty of material to prepare me for my gift as a highly intuitive energetic healer.
Born of the baby boomer generation in San Rafael, California, I was one of five children and the youngest of three girls. My challenges started early when I was sexually abused by my alcoholic father for years as a toddler. This became the direct cause of a lifelong bladder and kidney issue that would eventually require surgery.
My mother sought refuge in a religious cult that became her source of emotional support. While having good intentions, she had no idea of the future impact on her children that being raised in the shadows of fear, guilt and shame would have.
I had a very lonely and isolated childhood devoid of friends outside of the cult even though I was expected to go school and be in and among the world. I was not allowed to celebrate any holidays or birthdays, which became an annual reminder that I was not worth remembering. I was also forbidden to participate in competitive sports or go to college. All of this led to a very shy, low, self-esteem.
I married into the cult to a man who cheated on me for 23 of the 25 years we were married. Adultery was the only way out of the marriage then but you had to be able to prove it. His highly controlling, jealous, emotionally abusive, and threatening ways left me feeling very trapped, helpless and suicidal. My lowest point was when I walked into a sporting good store to buy a gun to end my life. The realization hit me that I could not do that to my two children.
Little by little doors opened and I began to trust in a power much bigger than myself.
The long journey of self-healing led me to books such as “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers and “Heal Yourself” by Louise Hayes. I left the cult and started a support group for ex-cult members which I facilitated for 9 years. It was a great catharsis and I got tremendous satisfaction from saving lives and helping others.
Knowing I would become a single mother without any financial support, I prepared for the inevitable. I got my certification for massage in 1999. After just my third month in business, ready or not, it was time to fly on my own. I filed a restraining order and for divorce.
I attended the previously forbidden psychic school at Aesclepion Intuitive Training in San Rafael, CA. This became a good replacement for the weekly meetings I was used to attending my whole life. I trained at Aesclepion every week for 12 years to learn to trust what I knew, saw, and felt. My training became my healing as each person who sat before me became a mirror of the places I was healing in myself.
My biggest challenge to overcome has been deprogramming my upbringing in the cult and learning how to make friends and meaningful connections. My second biggest challenge has been healing my heart. All of this has been the door to deeply knowing how to help others heal.
Through all of this there has been 5 major principles that by far have guided me to rise above all the crap.
- Practice daily self-healing. Every day I make sure I clear the channels of energy that run through my body and the energetic field around my body. This has been more important to me than brushing my teeth and taking a shower because I know that any place that energy gets stuck will affect the corresponding part of my life that is represented in that part of my body…such as the throat affecting communication or the left side affecting one’s ability to receive.
- Feel the fear and do it any way. The biggest thing that prevents people from moving forward in any area of their life is fear. I have had a lot of practice doing scary things and having to make scary decisions. But what I know for sure is that each time I broke through something scary, I felt stronger and more expansive. Do something that stretches your boundaries and makes you feel a little uncomfortable.
- Trust your intuition. We have an amazing body intelligence that has all of our answers…we just need to practice listening. This requires getting quiet…long enough…to hear our own wisdom.
- Trust your higher power. I believe in a power bigger than myself which helps me to know I am never alone, the Universe always has my best interests at heart, and I am always supported when I am in alignment with my highest good. I also feel a myriad of angelic support.
- Surround yourself with those that support your vision of success. Find your tribe. Community has never been more important. If you don’t have one…create one. Helping others is a great way to be part of the solution instead of the problem.
Today I believe each of us is perfect, luminous and brilliant beyond belief. I believe healing is necessary, not because we are broken, damaged, and defective, but because some of our essence is buried among the lies and misconceptions we believe about ourselves. We entered this world with radiant innocence and no judgments. The judgments we now carry do not belong to us, and can be easily released. This opens a space within our heart that allows all healing to take place. Hearts Expanding Allow Love is the acronym for H.E.A.L…as love is the ultimate healer.
While my healing journey has taken about 20-25 years, I believe the Universal energies now supporting us are much more healing friendly and breakthroughs are happening much faster now.